Blended Family? Get The Kids Involved In The Wedding!
I posted a note on my Facebook page asking what blog topics my readers would like me to write about next, and future bride Nicci came up with a great idea! She has been married previously and has two daughters, she wanted to know if there were special ceremonies or ideas to help her kids feel that they were a big part of this special day. I've seen a lot of great ideas implemented at weddings I have photographed, so I'm going to share those with you today.Nobody knows your kid better than you do, and if your child is reluctant to participate than you should respect their boundaries, but even for those kids, there are a lot of behind the scenes activities they can help with. If however, they are enthusiastic, well all the better!One of my favorite "new traditions" is vows for the children. For example the officiant can ask the new step parent if they would love and support the new step child, and then ask the child or children if they will love and honor their parents new partner. This is nicely followed by a group hug! I also like the lighting of the unity candle when done by every member of the new family. The sand ceremony is also a nice visual showing every member of the new family blending together. Everyone gets a vial of colored sand, then they take turns pouring it into another empty glass container. You get a work of art created by everyone to take home with you.The ring ceremony is another opportunity to include your children. You can give each one a special engraved pendant or maybe a watch for boys, at the time you exchange rings with your new partner. A rose with a personal note can also be included here.Other choice that work well for kids:Handing out programs, older kids can even help to create these.Have them help make the wedding invitations and stuff envelopes as well.Handing out rice, seeds or bubbles as everyone leaves the ceremony.Walk their parent down the isle. I love this idea!If you have a budding photographer in the family let them document the day with disposable cameras!I think the most important thing is that your children feel it's their wedding too. A new family is a big deal and getting them involved as much as possible is going to go a long way towards keeping them from feeling alienated from the big romance that is obviously going on between the two of you. They need to know how much you want them to be a part of the new family and that they are very welcome in this new group situation. One thing I've learned from the kids that I share a home with, is that they know when somebody is "trying too hard" and when it's really from the heart. So just be yourself and keep the kids involved every step of the way.....things should turn out just fine.